When I first heard about K-12 when I was around 12 years old, I remember that I thought it was a good thing. At that time, I didn’t put much thought about the fact that as a homeschooler, I didn’t have grades or any proof that I know as much things academically from other people my age. I thought all it took to get to college was to be good at what you want to pursue. However, now that I’m older and senior high school is becoming something I have to choose wether or not to enrol in, I think that the complicated part of college might be the whole process of either going to Senior High School or finding a way to present my grades or a diploma as a homeschooler who never really stuck to a curriculum. From what I’ve heard, universities in the Philippines won’t be accepting anyone who didn’t go through senior high school!

My mom sent me the list of core subjects of a senior high school offering music as a track and it looks so rigid. I practice for 3 hours a day. Typically my day is full of practicing, reading, doing my academics (math, chemistry and whatever course I’m taking in the website Coursera). But this senior high school had 14 subjects. I don’t know how the students can practice if they have that much to do. I know that if I don’t choose to go to senior high school, my only choice for college would be abroad, and that sounds so scary for me. How do I know if I’ll get into any college outside if i can’t even go to one in my own country? I keep doubting myself wether or not I’m good enough. My choice would be to either just go to senior high school, or continue as always, doing my academics at my own pace, and really being serious with my violin; performing whenever I can, attending summer music camps abroad or local music camps and practicing a lot.

I haven’t made any choice yet. I’m not even leaning towards any decision whatsoever. I feel so neutral and I’m worried that I’m being a bit apathetic towards the topic of senior high school because I’m just so unsure of how things will be and I don’t like thinking about it. Everything is so misty now, but that’s life I suppose.